legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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