i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
