maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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