Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
