Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
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I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
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I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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