I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
only you would photoshop your dick
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
