Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
It's blow job season.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
