ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
