I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
