you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
