if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
