I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
