so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
His nipple licking is glorious
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