it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
