You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
