Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
