I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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