I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize