my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize