R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
