so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize