I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
