and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
i've created a new STD.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
