My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
