When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
