actually, I'm a sock model
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
This baby is an asshole
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Randomize
