I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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