i barfeds in our rink
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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