Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
