my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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