dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
