I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.