Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.