i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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