You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
