I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
