Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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