New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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