Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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