well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
