tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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