and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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