We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
