i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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