Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
