it hurts more in the daytime
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
