in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
