I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
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So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
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I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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