he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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