Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
