I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
