Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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