moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
