Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
