I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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