this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
