your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.