Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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