Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein

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(718): View more from New York

Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.

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(857): View more from Massachusetts

So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?

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(802): View more from Vermont

i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(216): View more from Ohio

ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.

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(561): View more from Florida

Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.

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(909): View more from California

What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.

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(716): View more from New York

The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?

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