Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(731): View more from Tennessee

I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.

(601): View more from Mississippi

Talk to you next week

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(731): I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period. (601): Talk to you next week http://tfl.nu/n6cb

Replies (29) Good night (988) Bad night (1899)
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(337): View more from Louisiana

I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.

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(337): I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way. http://tfl.nu/vl3g

Replies (3) Good night (828) Bad night (1741)
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(734): View more from Michigan

so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it

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(734): so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it http://tfl.nu/b75j

Replies (32) Good night (879) Bad night (7194)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."

(817): View more from Texas

I was drunk but it's true

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(262): LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that." (817): I was drunk but it's true http://tfl.nu/5hb1

Replies (10) Good night (4037) Bad night (694)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn

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(859): I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn http://tfl.nu/q2bp

Replies (70) Good night (3474) Bad night (5322)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator

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(505): I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator http://tfl.nu/t25w

Replies (12) Good night (939) Bad night (2598)
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(302): View more from Delaware

Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.

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(302): Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit. http://tfl.nu/yb12

Replies (27) Good night (4624) Bad night (1294)
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(239): View more from Florida

Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.

(801): View more from Utah

Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.

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(239): Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down. (801): Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible. http://tfl.nu/w6b2

Replies (5) Good night (2346) Bad night (777)
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(925): View more from California

Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.

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(925): Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious. http://tfl.nu/2nhd

Replies (4) Good night (794) Bad night (1657)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before

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(615): I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before http://tfl.nu/iyr5

Replies (0) Good night (662) Bad night (692)
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(208): View more from Idaho

Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.

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(208): Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen. http://tfl.nu/0ir7

Replies (3) Good night (726) Bad night (899)
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(386): View more from Florida

I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over

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(386): I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over http://tfl.nu/gegy

Replies (3) Good night (1086) Bad night (431)
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(563): View more from Iowa

Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.

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(563): Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up. http://tfl.nu/xba5

Replies (0) Good night (476) Bad night (868)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him

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(814): I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him http://tfl.nu/pxxc

Replies (5) Good night (779) Bad night (696)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"

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(401): Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research" http://tfl.nu/jhke

Replies (1) Good night (432) Bad night (181)

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