Texts From Last Night

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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.

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  (803): so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points. http://tfl.nu/u3st
  Replies (51) Good night (5272) Bad night (1060)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.

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  (317): I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best. http://tfl.nu/9ej5
  Replies (32) Good night (2968) Bad night (3256)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks

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  (717): i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks http://tfl.nu/zwks
  Replies (30) Good night (5396) Bad night (783)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined

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  (301): I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined http://tfl.nu/iip9
  Replies (19) Good night (1005) Bad night (3244)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.

  (1-647): View more from Ontario

  Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?

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  (647): 47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over. (1-647): Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead? http://tfl.nu/n8gs
  Replies (57) Good night (1266) Bad night (5757)
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  (310): View more from California

  I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.

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  (310): I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila. http://tfl.nu/yi5v
  Replies (13) Good night (2225) Bad night (6165)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."

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  (601): You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka." http://tfl.nu/g6um
  Replies (6) Good night (3552) Bad night (959)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex

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  (402): let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex http://tfl.nu/z1hh
  Replies (13) Good night (3195) Bad night (876)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!

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  (920): YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN! http://tfl.nu/7v2u
  Replies (22) Good night (1521) Bad night (748)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD

  (469): View more from Texas

  My thighs feel like glass

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  (214): YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD (469): My thighs feel like glass http://tfl.nu/m7pw
  Replies (3) Good night (1585) Bad night (663)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  Dude that's a hat trick!

  (616): View more from Michigan

  I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.

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  (616): Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs. (1-616): Dude that's a hat trick! (616): I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out. http://tfl.nu/g50u
  Replies (8) Good night (1723) Bad night (422)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.

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  (817): Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me. http://tfl.nu/booy
  Replies (6) Good night (1113) Bad night (383)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.

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  (306): I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth. http://tfl.nu/zq9c
  Replies (2) Good night (424) Bad night (545)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.

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  (607): Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far. http://tfl.nu/v6o0
  Replies (0) Good night (414) Bad night (741)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?

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  (715): Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night? http://tfl.nu/fn24
  Replies (1) Good night (309) Bad night (525)

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