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Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
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