i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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