i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
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We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
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I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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