I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
