Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
honey bunches of taint.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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