he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
