I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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