Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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