so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
