My underwear smells like fireworks.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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