before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
