People in love make me want to vomit
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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